No Fly Zone

So my Trying Something New blogpost has resulted in me being contacted privately by a few people, apologizing if they've ever made me feel uncomfortable.  Thing is, they haven't.  They probably have no idea what it is I'm actually referring to. 

I attend conferences where the average adjusted age for maturity is about 16, where I can be standing in the lobby dressed up to go out and waiting for a friend, and listening to a group of 5 or 10 guys about 20 feet away talk really loud about the hot redhead, or calling 'hey redhead' trying to get a reaction from me (and the really stupid thing is that one of the guys knows my name).  I don't ask for drunk texts saying 'we gotta hook up sometime' (no, we don't), or 'I'm out with X Y and Z and they're impressed I know the hot redhead and want you to come out with us' (which guaranteed I didn't go out that night, even though I actually enjoy the company of the people in that case).  I don't appreciate questions about my personal hygiene or sex life.  I don't ask to be propositioned almost every conference.  I don't ask people to IM me out of the blue with a url to porn asking me what I think of the picture.  I don't ask strangers in the grocery store to ask if my haircolor is natural and then go on to tell me about their personal sexual fantasies. 

Some of the behavior towards me I can see how I contribute to.  Sometimes I joke and talk with the guys as if I'm one of the guys, and forget I'm not.  Then when someone gets a little too forward I don't respond assertively - I've always felt like I had to be nice and polite and uber-nonbitchy, so I would just change the subject or laugh it off/make a joke.  This summer for the first time I told someone to @#$! off when they made me uncomfortable, and probably need to do that more often.

Those are the more extreme examples, but each one is true.  I wish I didn't have so many.  I haven't been to a conference as a brunette yet, but grocery shopping, going out to dinner, and generally anything I have done in public has been way more comfortable, I don't feel as many eyes on me which has been kind of nice.  And it isn't that I don't like the brown or the short cut.  I just loved my hair before.  I'm going to have to learn how to be more comfortable being myself as a redhead and setting boundaries with people who make me feel objectified.