17 posts tagged “funny”
After working until 9pm (don't feel too sorry for me, I didn't get to work until 10 am, and that was after sleeping for 13 hours) I went with friends to buy party decorations for an office. See, my friend's boss's birthday is tomorrow, so there were streamers to be strung and confetti to be flung.
However. Her boss left his computer workstation unlocked. Now in my group, that is an invitation for an FMLA. FMLA stands for Fire My Lame Ass and is an email that is sent to the rest of the organization to notify them that you neglected physical security and left your computer wide open for anyone walking the halls to access. Often the FMLA mail comes with entertaining text about how much you love your job, or what a mess your office is, etc.
So what to do? We weren't in my group, so an FMLA seemed mean. And it was his birthday after all. So I put down the crepe paper and went to work. First, he needed a cheerier desktop wallpaper, so I found a picture of balloons on the internet. Then, I changed his screensaver to say Happy Birthday. Finally, and in what I think was a bold move, I downloaded the video Mahna Mahna to his desktop and launched it in Windows Media Player, set to repeat. Then, so as to prolong his early morning birthday enjoyment of the song, my friend suggested we lock his workstation. A request I complied with.
Once the workstation was locked, I mentioned that he would be also able to also enjoy it when he restarted his computer as I dropped the video into his startup folder too. This I believe took it from bold to brilliant. My friend is less than convinced of that. I fully expect her to throw me under the bus (I can't blame her), so I may as well admit to it all here so she can just point him to my blog for the full confessional. I kind of hope she waits until he reboots at least once before pointing him here though, or the beauty of the startup folder vector will be lost.
On our way out of the building I wrote 'mahna mahna' on random whiteboards in the halls and in offices. Figured I may as well go all in.
mai s0x, let me sho u dem.
I have always liked argyle, but never owned any. I was never comfortable wearing it, I always felt like I was playing dress up and pretending to be something I'm not. But these just make me smile. I got them yesterday and couldn't wait to wear them. So I wore a skirt to work today because it seems fundamentally wrong for such awesome socks to be hidden under jeans.
A random comment by Allyson this evening:
"this is not going to swallow down my drain."
She was holding a piece of apple peel up for me to see, before she threw it in the garbage. The fact that my four year old just called her throat a drain was really funny, in a cute mixed up words sort of way. Though if you think about it too much, it's just disturbing.
a month ago in DC, somehow, someone made a comment on the way to lunch (while we were all sober) that resulted in Rob Hensing and I pitted against each other in a push-up competition next time he was in Redmond. That night while out (while most of us weren't sober) amongst the trash talking, the agreement was made that the loser would blog about their failure.
LET ME MAKE THIS CLEAR: I DID NOT LOSE.
Rob went first and did 40 mostly legitimate pushups before getting in two half-elbows-not-really-bent-things in. So we called it at 40.
I went second and did 43 pushups. It is hard for me to say how my form was on those last three, I know I was really struggling and pushing myself at that point.
The judges (there were five) called it 40 as well and said we have to re-match next time Rob is in town, which we think is early May.
I have to give Rob mad props for going through with it. Sure, we all harassed him and his honor was on the line if he chickened out from a pushup competition with a girl. But I still admire that he went through with it. The shame if he had lost would have been significant. We'd have given him shit for it for years.
I expect he will actually spend some time between now and May on his Bowflex and I'll lose the rematch. But I'll make him work for it at least.
omg.
omfg.
this is hysterical. this online web diversion to any functional work will take your input and anagram it into something else. a sampling of my friends and co-worker's anagramed names include:
Kinky ladies' man
Hey! I am a clever
Evil present
Mad wrench anus
Sore sphincter
Squirt canoodle
I'm an ass-head
Havoc and cheat him (the real irony is that the first time I entered this name it resulted in a buffer overflow in the app. if you knew the name, you'd laugh too. hahahahahahahha)
actually, all of these are probably a LOT funnier if you know the person the anagram is derived from. some of them made me cry I was laughing so hard.
ok, enough laughing for one night. I've got to get some sleep!
Catapultum habeo.
Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis ad capul tuum saxum immane mittam.
GIANT FUCKING HAMMER in your hands? My amazingly patient H3 instructor sent me this class picture to commemorate my first lesson last night.
hahahahaha I even look competent in this shot! Don't be fooled. I'm not.
soooo... I'm listening to a playlist of songs on my Zune from Rock Band in the car with the kids, and when Ballroom Blitz ends, my four year old starts saying 'its, its, a blallroom blitz. its, its a blallroom blitz'. (yes, she has an extra L in there). Then she asks me to play the song again, which I do for her. We get home before the song is over, and she asks if we can sit in the car in the garage and listen to the rest of it.
I am about to blow her mind with Rock Band on the xbox 360.
"Since I hear your registration is done and you have met with the proper guidance counselor, class will begin on Saturday evening. I will see if any of the other course TA's will be able to join. Our first lesson will be covering social engineering and it's affects on getting sexually repressed gamers to walk straight into my shotgun :)"
I told you my friends are awesome. hehehehehe. too funny. about time I got some skillz.
